Ralree Manatee's Blog

2005-08-18T15:26:00.000-08:00

Today a manatee spotted a crab.
His name was Albert, he was looking drab.
"What's wrong, Albert?" the manatee inquired.
"My Computer's dead! Don't you know I'll be fired?"

"Goodness gracious, why?" the manatee exclaimed,
and with a softly sobbing voice, Albert explained
that because he installed Windows XP,
he'd been plagued with spyware, virii, and other debris.
His boss said, "Fix it, or you'll be unemployed!"
Ralree offered his help, and Albert was overjoyed.

"Install a good distro, one that's simple to use.
You don't need to pick one that will only confuse!
There are many good starter distributions out there,
and you can install them yourself, taking care."

Albert insisted Ralree reveal all he knew,
and Ralree recited "Here's what we will do:
Here are CDs for Ubuntu, Centos, and Knoppix,
Xandros, Suse, Lindows, and Gnoppix.
Try all of the LiveCDs, see what you like,
then install a major distro, and it's like riding a bike.
After the plunge, you'll find yourself at home,
away from Microsoft's polluted disgusting drone
of crappy OS's prone to flaws and hacks.
Trust me, my friend, you'll never look back."

And Albert started using Linux,
Centos 4, it seems.
And when he and Ralree went on picnics,
Albert would spill the beans.
He eventually leanred to use the shell,
and felt he was Bourne Again.
In fact, in comparison, Windows is hell,
Please make the swich, my friend.

Gas

2005-08-13T21:44:00.000-08:00

Grazing on forbs is a manatee's bliss,
because without forbs, he would surely miss
a great nutritional source.
But he is bright and bonafide,
stunning decanter, tip-top pride,
and much jollier than a sea-horse.

Yet, what's that? That awful sound!
"VROOM VROOM, VROOM VROOM", it wails.
Cutting through water, leap and bound,
not seeing the manatees it impales.

If man keeps depending on fossil fuels
as a primary energy source,
he'll wear out one of Earth's most useful tools,
and the manatee will show no remorse.
In fact, he'll be happy that man has failed;
the propellers won't kill any more kin.
So start using alternatives and you will be hailed,
do you want all of the manatees to win?

-Ralree, the gas-hating manatee.

2005-08-11T10:57:00.000-08:00

Oh goodness, it looks to be
that under the water a manatee
is lurking very silently.

He loves to hear the sea's lament,
his leglessness is permanent.
If I were he, I know I would be
a jolly sea cow, filled with glee.

Ralree Ralree cried the grateful manatee,
I know evolution commands us,
but some people don't agree with me,
especially the school board of Kansas.

Intelligent design is ignoring fact,
we didn't just appear here, you fool.
Just because science upsets your tact,
don't teach lies in school.

- Ralree, the faithless manatee